I've been missing in action. but with good cause! Ive been getting more responsibilities at work, I had a job interview on friday so I spent the week focusing and putting things into perspective.
Guess what?! I'm going to Cuba in May! so exxxcited!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
80/20 rule.
Based on a question from a guy: Why do women settle? Let’s sit back and think for a bit on that. Because that word “settle” has so many different meanings. I’m not talking about that “oh I wanted a tall guy and settled for a short one…but he’s nice” kind of thing. I’m talking about real settling…
You ever have that moment with your girlfriend/wife/jumpoff where you catch her just looking at you? She says nothing; she’s just looking at you walking around in your ratty ass t-shirt and boxers, or completely engrossed in Call of duty Modern warfare, or while you’re studiously watching (trying to figure out) the latest episode of jersey shore and she’s just looking? No smile… nothing. It’s like she’s studying you in the wild; memorizing every detail. You ask her what’s up and she says “nothing”?
She’s trying to determine if you’re the “80″ or the “20″.
No one gets 100% what they want in a person. But most of us are happy with getting anywhere between 80 and 100%. So no, you may not be 6′2 and have a six pack, but if you’re 5’5 and can make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the room? That’s not settling darling, that’s prioritizing.
You see, it’s that crucial 20% that can make or break the relationship. If she started dating you and that 80% was all superficial – meaning all the stuff that looks good on paper – her feelings for you will fade. With each fading step, she’ll become more and more disenchanted with you and one day, she’ll look at you and realize that she has settled for 80% of man that is of no real value to her. So that good looking asshole? She settled. That loser of a guy who has that one redeeming quality, so she kinda just shrugs off the rest? Yup, she settled. In time, she will do one of two things: she’ll cheat or she’ll leave. If she stays, she has her own set of issues.
“Settling” my dear boys creeps up on a relationship. I’m not talking about the moments when she does the dramatic eye roll or sigh, or when she rhetorically asks “why do I put up with you?” or says to friends “see what I put up with?” When she says or does those things, more often than not, she’s reminding herself that whatever caused that reaction is in her 20%, not her 80%. Count yourself lucky if you are made aware of these moments because it’s those quiet moments of reflection that you should be worried about. That’s when she’s doing the math to see if you add up to at least 80%…and if you do, what is it 80% of?
So what if she runs an empire and he’s a courier? You don’t know what the dynamics are of that relationship that makes it work…and no I don’t mean (just) great sex. Now, are you sitting there comparing yourself to ghosts of boyfriends past and wondering how you measure up? Don’t. She’s already taken the measurements, and if you’re still around, then keep doing what you’re doing and improve on it.
What if she’s just a jumpoff? Well, I firmly believe that there is some jumpoff etiquette that should be observed: treat her with respect, no lies, and no false promises. Just because you’re not putting a ring on her finger or being seen with her during daylight hours, does not mean that you treat her sexual needs like an afterthought. She’s fulfilling something for you; you better be fulfilling (sexually) for her. You continuously treat her like a sexual dumping ground and you’ll find that one day, she’s not available. Besides, if all you’re looking for is a sexual dumping ground, then you should just call 1-976-UR-AN-ASS.
Think about it: you ever have your jump off not give her all one night? Like she’s kind of going through the motions (pun intended)? Then after, she shows no desire to spend the night (when she normally does) or immediately gets on her phone to read her twitter replies? Yeah, she’s realized that 80% of the sex is about you and the 20% she gets just isn’t good enough.
You see, all this talk about women dating men and settling is about the superficial. So what we might observe as her “settling, is really a relationship where the woman has her priorities in order. She is willing to give up superficial quality X because she can receive substantial quality Y instead. The substantial is much harder to come by…and when she’s found it, she won’t care if he’s slightly balding, can’t dance, or makes less money than her…she’s settled for Mr. Right for Her and that’s all that matters
You ever have that moment with your girlfriend/wife/jumpoff where you catch her just looking at you? She says nothing; she’s just looking at you walking around in your ratty ass t-shirt and boxers, or completely engrossed in Call of duty Modern warfare, or while you’re studiously watching (trying to figure out) the latest episode of jersey shore and she’s just looking? No smile… nothing. It’s like she’s studying you in the wild; memorizing every detail. You ask her what’s up and she says “nothing”?
She’s trying to determine if you’re the “80″ or the “20″.
No one gets 100% what they want in a person. But most of us are happy with getting anywhere between 80 and 100%. So no, you may not be 6′2 and have a six pack, but if you’re 5’5 and can make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the room? That’s not settling darling, that’s prioritizing.
You see, it’s that crucial 20% that can make or break the relationship. If she started dating you and that 80% was all superficial – meaning all the stuff that looks good on paper – her feelings for you will fade. With each fading step, she’ll become more and more disenchanted with you and one day, she’ll look at you and realize that she has settled for 80% of man that is of no real value to her. So that good looking asshole? She settled. That loser of a guy who has that one redeeming quality, so she kinda just shrugs off the rest? Yup, she settled. In time, she will do one of two things: she’ll cheat or she’ll leave. If she stays, she has her own set of issues.
“Settling” my dear boys creeps up on a relationship. I’m not talking about the moments when she does the dramatic eye roll or sigh, or when she rhetorically asks “why do I put up with you?” or says to friends “see what I put up with?” When she says or does those things, more often than not, she’s reminding herself that whatever caused that reaction is in her 20%, not her 80%. Count yourself lucky if you are made aware of these moments because it’s those quiet moments of reflection that you should be worried about. That’s when she’s doing the math to see if you add up to at least 80%…and if you do, what is it 80% of?
So what if she runs an empire and he’s a courier? You don’t know what the dynamics are of that relationship that makes it work…and no I don’t mean (just) great sex. Now, are you sitting there comparing yourself to ghosts of boyfriends past and wondering how you measure up? Don’t. She’s already taken the measurements, and if you’re still around, then keep doing what you’re doing and improve on it.
What if she’s just a jumpoff? Well, I firmly believe that there is some jumpoff etiquette that should be observed: treat her with respect, no lies, and no false promises. Just because you’re not putting a ring on her finger or being seen with her during daylight hours, does not mean that you treat her sexual needs like an afterthought. She’s fulfilling something for you; you better be fulfilling (sexually) for her. You continuously treat her like a sexual dumping ground and you’ll find that one day, she’s not available. Besides, if all you’re looking for is a sexual dumping ground, then you should just call 1-976-UR-AN-ASS.
Think about it: you ever have your jump off not give her all one night? Like she’s kind of going through the motions (pun intended)? Then after, she shows no desire to spend the night (when she normally does) or immediately gets on her phone to read her twitter replies? Yeah, she’s realized that 80% of the sex is about you and the 20% she gets just isn’t good enough.
You see, all this talk about women dating men and settling is about the superficial. So what we might observe as her “settling, is really a relationship where the woman has her priorities in order. She is willing to give up superficial quality X because she can receive substantial quality Y instead. The substantial is much harder to come by…and when she’s found it, she won’t care if he’s slightly balding, can’t dance, or makes less money than her…she’s settled for Mr. Right for Her and that’s all that matters
MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!
the movie resembled mild porn, but this song = Amazing!
from the cruel intentions soundtrack.
Color Blind by the Counting Crows.
102 views in 24 hours!
Spread the word and thanks for all the love support and feed back.
xoxo Muaaaah
xoxo Muaaaah
Calgary, Alberta...
My home, away from home.
I have built a love/hate relationship with this city. And this relationship wasn't built over night. It took about 6 or 7 years. lol. of ups, downs, in betweens. Betrayals, Fights, love found and love lost. the only benefit of the city was, My family AND...the *FEW* friends I decided were worthy enough of my time and energy.
Would I move back? Never.
Do I miss it? Yes!
Can someone friggin' explain this?!?!!
I have built a love/hate relationship with this city. And this relationship wasn't built over night. It took about 6 or 7 years. lol. of ups, downs, in betweens. Betrayals, Fights, love found and love lost. the only benefit of the city was, My family AND...the *FEW* friends I decided were worthy enough of my time and energy.
Would I move back? Never.
Do I miss it? Yes!
Can someone friggin' explain this?!?!!
mediatakeout.com
Is it just me or are they soooooo pathetic?
...yet I religiously check their website. Like I don't understand where they get some of their stories from. They are the most non-credible source for news EVER. Sometimes I can't even believe the shit they MAKE up!
...yet I religiously check their website. Like I don't understand where they get some of their stories from. They are the most non-credible source for news EVER. Sometimes I can't even believe the shit they MAKE up!
flashback thought.
HEY, do ya'll remember when you were in elementary school and friendships actually MEANT something. If no one was asking you to play tag at recess, than you cried yourself to sleep at night, It was the END of the world. Fitting in was so important. It defined us. Being in a 'clique' determined whether we had self confidence or not...
My, my, my how things have changed. Now it seems the less of a circle surrounding you the better. Why is that? Why are friends such a burden now where as before they were the prize possession in your life.
Hmmm.. somewhere along the line, things got blurred and lost in translation, or perhaps FOUND in translation?
Anyway, whatever the case may be, Hold on and value your existing friendships. No matter how many or few.
My, my, my how things have changed. Now it seems the less of a circle surrounding you the better. Why is that? Why are friends such a burden now where as before they were the prize possession in your life.
Hmmm.. somewhere along the line, things got blurred and lost in translation, or perhaps FOUND in translation?
Anyway, whatever the case may be, Hold on and value your existing friendships. No matter how many or few.
Toronto's artist of the year...
Hard work, Dedication, Determination...
His name is PLUS MO.
The voice of Toronto.
Someone we can actually be proud to stand behind.
You can listen to his music here: http://www.youtube.com/hustlersmooth
Personal favorites: How I feel and Born To Win
AND YOU CAN LISTEN TO HIS NEW MIXTAPE "SWEET CHIN MUSIC VOL 2"
Contact Info: Twitter.com/PlusMoMusic
He gon' be a problem, so if you decide to fuck with it, atleast you get to witness it.
OH AND REMEMBER WHO TOLD YOU FIRST!
Smoochez!
It is 9:35am right now... but
Anyone who has any decency, would not be consecutively ringing down one's phone at 8:30 in the friggin' morning for any such reason. Except one who lacks common sense, or a brain. Why does this girl call me all the time to cover her shit...I'm so sick of it. I wish we could all live in a world of reliable workers and people you can depend on. You know, People such as myself.
Monday, January 17, 2011
a little food for thought, fill your plate up!
The situation reminds me of the fable of the scorpion and the frog. In case you don't know it, here it is: a scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" The scorpion shrugs and says, "It’s my nature."
The point isn't that she was a scorpion, simply that it was not in her nature (at that time) to commit to things. She constantly wanted new experiences, to meet new people and do new things. When she had an impulse, she followed it. When she tried to live a more conventional lifestyle, things didn't work out. Because she loved him and saw him as someone worthy of spending her life with, she tried to fight her nature. He also tried to make her change her nature through persuasion, etc. See, His nature was to seek stability, which ran counter to her desire for freedom from commitment.
Any relationship predicated on the need for one or both people to change on a fundamental level is doomed to failure.
As for why He was "stupid" enough to keep taking her back, well, He was brought up to believe that if you loved somebody, you had to be willing to sacrifice anything to be with them. We hadn't yet learned that love alone can't sustain a relationship, and that sometimes loving someone means letting them go for the good of everybody involved.
The point isn't that she was a scorpion, simply that it was not in her nature (at that time) to commit to things. She constantly wanted new experiences, to meet new people and do new things. When she had an impulse, she followed it. When she tried to live a more conventional lifestyle, things didn't work out. Because she loved him and saw him as someone worthy of spending her life with, she tried to fight her nature. He also tried to make her change her nature through persuasion, etc. See, His nature was to seek stability, which ran counter to her desire for freedom from commitment.
Any relationship predicated on the need for one or both people to change on a fundamental level is doomed to failure.
As for why He was "stupid" enough to keep taking her back, well, He was brought up to believe that if you loved somebody, you had to be willing to sacrifice anything to be with them. We hadn't yet learned that love alone can't sustain a relationship, and that sometimes loving someone means letting them go for the good of everybody involved.
so you think you have conversation skills? ha!
Ok so below are the different type of PEOPLE you meet during a CONVERSATION hahaha! and omg, i must confess, I'm guilty as charged for more than 1 conviction! I KNOW ya'll are too! ENJOY! ♥
Conversation Hijacker [GUILTY]
So you've just finished telling a story about a funny memory. The Conversation Hijacker makes their move: "You think that's funny, let me tell you this." The Hijacker doesn't intend to listen to you, but they expect you want to listen to them. They like to top your story and belittle it, while allowing little time for discussion or reaction to it. It ends up as an unbalanced conversation dominated by the Hijacker, frustrating the hijacked victim.
Eye-Contact Issues
For example, someone was presenting to you in your office, and they looked at you too much. It made you uncomfortable. On the other hand, when our date seems to be looking "through" us, or around us, as if anything is more interesting, we assume they are not into us. Just like words in a conversation, good eye contact has a certain rhythm to it.
Ghost Listening [SUPER GUILTY]
Don't you hate when you're in an loud environment and you have to ask the person to repeat themselves more than once? By the time I hit "excuse me" number two, I'm already feeling awkward. I sometimes bail out and react with a fake (usually positive) reaction without hearing accurately. So you might get something like this:
"My grandmother is sick." "What?" "My grandmother is sick." "I'm sorry, say that again?" "My grandmother is sick." (Ghost Listener panics/gives up) "Wow, that is so great!"
It's a toss-up: Do I want to keep asking someone to repeat themselves, or do I want to end the misery by assuming and reacting even though I risk making things worse?
^ Guilty I do this ALOT in clubs especially.
Tasteless Jokes
I'm guilty of talking about porn and my favorite: bathroom humor. Growing up in my family, I thought this was normal. So, I often talk "bathroom humor" shop with the everyone. But when I meet someone, it is a turnoff for them in the beginning. I guess the obnoxiousness (and this is tough for people in my family to do) has to be introduced slowly.
Shameless Self-Promoter
It's obnoxious to berate someone with your accomplishments, or how you know cool person/celeb A, B, or C . You'll look insecure and look like you're trying too hard. Putting the best foot forward gently is not an easy art to master.
Me, Me, Me [Hahahaha sooooooooooooooooo guilty]
A variation of the Shameless Self-Promoter, the Me, Me, Me broadcasts insignificant stories about their life, but completely forgets to ask the other person about their life. It may not be on purpose, but they magnify everything in their own world, which shrinks the importance of everything in the other person's world.
My Name Is Negativity
They might describe their average day like this: "Of course my boss made me stay late, and of course I locked myself out of my apartment because that's my life. Everything sucks." Another form of negativity is self-deprecation. I love making fun of myself, but sometimes it gets to be too much and my friends tell me to ease off on it . Don't fake positivity but remember: No one wants to spend time with a person who is too negative.
Dead-End Answers
Answering with a simple "yes" or "no" or one sentence sings detachment, like a guilty criminal being grilled by a detective. So, use short answers when you're trying to get rid of someone, but if you like someone you should be naturally inclined to say more.
Word Machine
You don't want to be Dead-End Answer, but if you talk too much you will overwhelm someone. The person you're with is more likely to remember that you talked too much than the actual content over your conversation. I talk a lot (too much sometimes), and when someone talks as much as me, we fight for time. Conversation is about balance: sharing the stage at the right rate creates a good conversation rhythm.
I Only Read Us Weekly , or Russian Literature
There are girls who only talk about pop culture, but there are also the condescending "too smart" types that are not down to earth. Everyone wants an intelligent partner, but they don't want a preachy person or someone who makes them feel stupid.
AND I WONDER WHY NO ONE TALKS TO ME...LMAO!
25[RANDOM]THINGS about ME!
25 friggin' random things about me!
1. I would trade my bestfriends soul to rid the world of Roaches [Sorry]
2. If a recipe calls for milk, I always add water. I feel that Milk should not be wasted - Water can be.
3. I spend atleast $150 out of every pay check on take out.
4. If I could have it my way, I would never bathe.
5. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth before bed.
6. I hate the way shampoo make's my hair feel, sometime's I just wash my hair with conditioner and call it a day.
7. All the black men in my family have married White women.
8. I make the BEST kraft dinner in the world.
9. I always wear black.
10. Phone calls make me feel important. stop texting me.
11. I love sleeping with windows open and fans on - even in the winter.
12. I miss the drink 'TAHITI TREAT' it was the dopest.
13. I fart alot in my sleep.
14. I never burp. it always come's out of my ass.
15. I let my dog sleep in my bed.
16. I drool alot.
17. I watch A&E marathons all day long.
18. I wear flipflops inside my house, ALWAYS.
19. I hate the feeling of my skin touching. ie; thighs. arms and side. It makes me cringe.
20. I snore, but I hate people who snore near me.
21. I get easily frustrated with elders. LOL. i'm sorry. :(
22. I live for REALITY tv.
23. Sometimes I stare and catch myself drooling down my cleavage.
24. When no one is around. I will fart...and fart loud.
25. i don't hang anything up in the closet. all of the clothes i wear are on the couch in my bedroom.
1. I would trade my bestfriends soul to rid the world of Roaches [Sorry]
2. If a recipe calls for milk, I always add water. I feel that Milk should not be wasted - Water can be.
3. I spend atleast $150 out of every pay check on take out.
4. If I could have it my way, I would never bathe.
5. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth before bed.
6. I hate the way shampoo make's my hair feel, sometime's I just wash my hair with conditioner and call it a day.
7. All the black men in my family have married White women.
8. I make the BEST kraft dinner in the world.
9. I always wear black.
10. Phone calls make me feel important. stop texting me.
11. I love sleeping with windows open and fans on - even in the winter.
12. I miss the drink 'TAHITI TREAT' it was the dopest.
13. I fart alot in my sleep.
14. I never burp. it always come's out of my ass.
15. I let my dog sleep in my bed.
16. I drool alot.
17. I watch A&E marathons all day long.
18. I wear flipflops inside my house, ALWAYS.
19. I hate the feeling of my skin touching. ie; thighs. arms and side. It makes me cringe.
20. I snore, but I hate people who snore near me.
21. I get easily frustrated with elders. LOL. i'm sorry. :(
22. I live for REALITY tv.
23. Sometimes I stare and catch myself drooling down my cleavage.
24. When no one is around. I will fart...and fart loud.
25. i don't hang anything up in the closet. all of the clothes i wear are on the couch in my bedroom.
happiness is a habit.
HappineSs...
You don't need a psychiatrist or a therapist to help you find it
Happiness is a habit. No matter how positive you are, everything is NOT going to go your way.. you must be ready to make the most of every situation that comes your way. Do not let minor annoyances and problems ruin your day. The difference between happy positive people and unhappy negative people is the willingness to change and adjust our attitudes in any and every situation. You cannot remedy anything by fighting or condemning it. Other people can't bring me down if i'm operating on a higher energy level than them. I'll make sure I never respond to hate with hate. If I feel that those around me are bringing me down, it's because i'm joining them in their low energy. I desire to be happy. The proof of desire is pursuit. You must go to happy places, Pursue happy people, Create happy days. If you really desire happiness in your life, you must be willing to reach for it. Never blame anyone or anything for your unhappiness. Life rewards reachers. I have always said "Happiness is never placed within your life, happiness is simply placed within your reach" We must have a deep sense of purpose and the will to fulfill it. We must resolve old, unfinished business and eliminate toxic people and attitudes from our lives. We must work hard. We must withdraw and sever ties with people who are not truly aligned with our best long term interests. Focus exclusively on your ambitions and what is important to you. Eliminating distractions and moving forward is what it's all about. He who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing, remember that. True happiness is the ability to fully experience life..
*Smile*
i have to ask, what's your story?
What is your story?
In our self consumed life, have you ever stopped to ask someone what their story is?
you'd be surprised what they tell you.
you think you know somebody but you really don't.
dig a little deeper, be a HUMAN BEING of substance.
ask someone.
.
Falling inlove on twitter.
ok...let me breath...1,2,3. and back at it, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Why do people STILL fall inlove over the internet? I remember there was a time when you would catch slight feelings for a individual over MSN conversation and what not...But these little scally's and mongrels are legit falling inlove
Now when I say that they are falling inlove, I mean...they are sending tweets, updating face book status like "Fell asleep with _____ and woke up with _____" last time I checked, When you fall asleep with someone, you're usually sharing a mattress, a bed frame, pillows, sheets, blanket...etc. You catch my drift. Talking to someone on the phone till you fall asleep, and than ringing down their phone 5 hours later when you wake up for school does not count.
OMG. Note to self, I never condone meeting up with strangers, but please save yourself the embarrassment...
Why do people STILL fall inlove over the internet? I remember there was a time when you would catch slight feelings for a individual over MSN conversation and what not...But these little scally's and mongrels are legit falling inlove
Now when I say that they are falling inlove, I mean...they are sending tweets, updating face book status like "Fell asleep with _____ and woke up with _____" last time I checked, When you fall asleep with someone, you're usually sharing a mattress, a bed frame, pillows, sheets, blanket...etc. You catch my drift. Talking to someone on the phone till you fall asleep, and than ringing down their phone 5 hours later when you wake up for school does not count.
OMG. Note to self, I never condone meeting up with strangers, but please save yourself the embarrassment...
Love in 2011.
Valentine's day is fast approaching. And being in a relationship for 3 years, It's just another day of the year, I tell and show my man I love him whenever I can... But to singles...It's go to the doctors and re-up on their Demerol and Percocet's season... time for an overdose. Like why are ya'll killing yourselves over this corporate holiday made to make ya'll feel lonely and pathetic.
BEING LONELY IS ONLY TREACHEROUS IF YOU DON'T LOVE THE PERSON YOU'RE ALONE WITH...WITH THAT SAID, LOVE YOURSELF!
BEING LONELY IS ONLY TREACHEROUS IF YOU DON'T LOVE THE PERSON YOU'RE ALONE WITH...WITH THAT SAID, LOVE YOURSELF!
introduction necessary.
Hello world.
I always wanted to start a blog, but never could find the time to create one. So here I am..
LIPSTICKSTAINEDCIGARETTES
the concept? none really.
I hope ya'll enjoy my thoughts, my visions, my wishes, my life!
xoxo LSC.
I always wanted to start a blog, but never could find the time to create one. So here I am..
LIPSTICKSTAINEDCIGARETTES
the concept? none really.
I hope ya'll enjoy my thoughts, my visions, my wishes, my life!
xoxo LSC.
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